He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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