i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
