the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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