There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
