You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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