he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
