I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
NoShamevember. You game?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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