woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
