he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
