I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
