Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
