**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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