sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She announced her abortion via fbk
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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