Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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