My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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