But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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