ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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