I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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