Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
