Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
