What tipped you off? The sombrero?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
