My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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