That's when you crack a 10am beer
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
