Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
