we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
where are my eyebrows?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
