So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he puts the penis in happiness.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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