apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dick very happy bro
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
