I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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