My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Two words: nipple clamps
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