I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
