Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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