She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I understand Curling. That high.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
