Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
