I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
