It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
