dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
