I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am naked and annoyed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
