Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
