we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
