Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
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