I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
