Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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