When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
