i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
