I need help removing her.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
