yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
