Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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