Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
