is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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