It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
